Twice a month Joe Lipsett will dissect a new Amityville Horror film to explore how the “franchise” has evolved in increasingly ludicrous directions. This is “The Amityville IP.”
After an “in name only” outing with Amityville Prison (aka Against The Night), there’s something reassuring about Amityville Exorcism, which delivers exactly what the title suggests.
This is the second outing for director Mark Polonia after Amityville Death House, who swaps out writer John Oak Dalton for “franchise” newcomer Billy D’Amato. Alas, what made Death House an entertaining, albeit uneven, watch – ie: a pair of gonzo sequences – is mostly absent in this film.
Exorcism begins with a typical Amityville set piece in which father Charles Humes (Ken Van Sant) murders his wife and daughters in their home. Polonia and cinematographer Lukas K. Reynolds shoot this sequence in a dream-like fashion: partially in slow motion, with an accentuated heartbeat pounding on the soundtrack. It’s one of many stylistic flourishes Polonia employs throughout the film (some more successful than others), but it opens the film on a murderous note.
The film cuts to Humes speaking with Father Benna (Jeff Kirkendall) in prison as D’Amato establishes the connection to other films: Humes is a contractor who took wood from the original 112 Ocean Drive home before it was exorcized, and he used it as flooring in a number of other houses. So yes, wood floorboards are the haunted object for this outing.
The main action focuses on “teenager” Amy Dukane (Marie DeLorenzo) and her alcoholic, widower father Jeremy (James Carolus). They live in a house that Humes worked on, and Amy quickly becomes possessed by an evil spirit that manifests as a man wearing a red mask and robe. It’s Dollar Tree chic, but it mostly works because the character only appears onscreen briefly, often when Polonia and Reynolds are using frenzied editing, slow motion, superimposed imagery and/or distracting sound effects.
Both Benna and Jeremy are presented as haunted figures in their own right. Jeremy is an addict who feels guilty for causing the death of his wife Bonnie (Kathryn Sue Young) in a car accident. Benna, meanwhile, is reeling from the death of his friend (brother?) Father Jonas (Steve Diasparra), who was thrown out a window and died while exorcizing the original Amityville home. Neither storyline is handled with a great deal of depth: Benna feels guilty so he sets out to help others affected by Humes’ wood, while Jeremy, a character we’re told emotionally and physically abuses his daughter, is the hero of the film.
Shallow characterizations aren’t the problem here, though. There are two main issues with Amityville Exorcism: it’s a cheap knock-off of Friedkin’s The Exorcist and, more significantly, it’s surprisingly boring.
The former aspect is hardly surprising given the title, although the reliance on familiar conceits from specifically the best possession film of all time does Amityville Exorcism no favours. One could argue that they’re homages, but the film doesn’t offer anything else except the man in red.
Which leaves the latter issue: this just isn’t very interesting.
Polonia isn’t working with a larger budget or stronger actors than he was with former entry Death House, but at least that film had genuinely unusual set pieces and narrative developments. There’s no fun weirdness here: Amy becomes possessed, a few random characters, including a burglar (Todd Carpenter) and a pervy photographer (Titus Himmelberger) are killed in uninspiring ways, Father Benna exorcizes the house, Jeremy makes amends for his wife’s death, then everyone goes home happy.
It’s formulaic and more than a little dull, which are two descriptors that no Amityville film, regardless of its budget or creative team, should aspire to.
The Amityville IP Awards go to…
- Best Death: Amy’s boyfriend Robby (Austin Dragovich) is a pretty shallow and forgettable character, but his death is the most interesting. Amy lures him out to a deserted make-out spot where she shifts into demon mode and bites his neck. It feels more like a zombie film, but between the oozing green goo coming from Amy’s mouth and the car’s dim lighting masking the otherwise underwhelming make-up, this set piece is the best one in the film.
- Most Indiscriminate Drunk: While Jeremy’s alcoholism is treated flippantly, there is something hilarious about the production team signalling his drinking problem by having the character alternate between bottles of Fireball, Jägermeister and Jameson’s.
- Where’s Night of the Living Dead? At one point Jeremy watches an old black and white zombie film on TV, but rather than screen Romero’s license-free classic, Polonia shot his own mini zombie film! But why?!
- Best Exchange: Jeremy (about Humes): “He’s seemed perfectly normal.” Benna: “Most people are until they’re possessed.”
- Runner up: Benna (upon discovering the burgular’s blood): “That’s enough blood to kill six rats.” Presumably this refers to the equivalent of six rats’ worth of blood, but it is said so oddly!
- Doll Attack: There’s a sequence where Amy sics her antique doll collection on Benna. It’s too brief and the dolls need to move more, but it’s preposterous and ohsoclose to being actual fun.
Next Time: We’re checking out Amityville: The Awakening, which stars Bella Thorne!
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