’13th Floor Haunted House Chicago’ Review – Required Stop for Haunt Enthusiasts

Having been to 13th Floor five years ago, but having visited about one hundred Haunts in the meantime, I was eager to see if it stacked up to my memory of it. 13th Floor delivers and is a required stop for any Chicago metro area Haunt fans. It is located in Schiller Park Illinois.

Every Haunt has several aspects to it that are decent measuring sticks. Before the Maze, is there something fun to do? How are the scare actors? How are the set designs, scenes, fixtures, and atmosphere? Is it creative? Is it well run? Is it scary?

Some vendors and some music can make a Haunt go from a single activity destination, to an entire night hanging out with your friends. 13th Floor, thankfully delivers. Their primary line is outside, and around that there is a food truck and several vendors. Scare actors work this area as well. The beer table had some unique local brews, and the food truck smelled great. 10/10 if you bring a few friends you could hang here for an hour and take in the atmosphere, weather permitting.

When you get in, the opener is another line stage with great door control. Experience haunters will know that this is a sign of quality. Slow lines can be frustrating, but usually it means that when you get in the maze you won’t be running into other people, so scenes can be reset, and you don’t have anything big spoiled for you. A+ on the pacing 13th Floor. A mark of quality indeed.

It took us about 25 minutes to run the maze. That’s roughly five of Universal’s Halloween Horror Nights houses, or half of Dungeons of Doom, if you are inclined to compare. It’s a totally satisfying length and 13th Floor uses it effectively to create tension and ramp it up as you go.

Scare Actors: B+. Lots of creativity, long elaborate scenes for them to work, and great commitment. The highlight is the section with a bar, which I won’t spoil here. I marked it down because there were at least two sections and when we got through them we were surprised that no scare actor was working it. There was even a section with obvious (in retrospect) hiding spots, but no one to be found. I don’t want to give the impression that it was empty, as other scenes had up to five Scare Actors working them. It was however uneven in parts. Additionally, some Scare Actors were out of place. A psycho clown, in a haunted hospital, for example.

Fixtures: A-. I’m torn here. I want to give 13th Floor an A+ as this is clearly one of their best attributes. In any house, animatronic fixtures can add life to a scene. Poorly done it feels like a screaming puppet on a stick, but well done, like at 13th Floor? Giant animatronic fixtures, all custom, themed, and elaborate. There’s a dinner scene you have to see. I marked it down because, in one section, the fixtures didn’t go off. They just clicked, inert, and clearly were not working correctly. I’m not totally sure marking it down is fair.

Atmosphere: B. 13th Floor does not have a philosophy of using claustrophobia to destabilize you. Wide corridors may be great for some, but for seasoned vets it feels too comfortable. This is just their style. They are less interested in tight frightening atmospheres as they are about making you turn the corner to come upon a comparatively large, elaborate vista. The only other issue I had was that at parts they didn’t cover the top of the maze so it’s easy to look up and see the semi-well-lit warehouse roof, which takes you out of the haunt psychologically. The rubric for a perfect atmosphere is to change out claustrophobia for shocking scenes, to isolate the visitor, and to do everything you can to make sure they feel like the scene they are in, is the only thing happening. Being able to see a warehouse roof or hear too much noise from other scenes is sometimes unavoidable, but both have a negative impact.

Standout Scene: Near the end after what I’d call the Haunted Wharf, there is a smallish maze that uses laser to give the impression that you are wading through a corrupted swamp. It’s truly unique and atmospheric. When the smoke is running enough you sometimes can’t even see that you are in a maze still, so it becomes a bit disorienting as you try to navigate your way through the swamp. Top-notch stuff 13th Floor.

After you exit, there is a well-appointed gift shop and some mini-escape room games you can sign up for. I feel a bit bad about not getting a shirt. I’ll have to rectify that with another visit next year.

October is here. Haunting Season is here. The independent Haunted House scene remains a unique, heartfelt art form. It has some overtones that remind me of underground music scenes. Please go patronize your local Haunts this month. Bring friends. Make a night of it. – Dan Kushner


The city’s leading haunted house is now open to the public on select nights through November 5, 2022. Get tickets at 13thfloorchicago.com.

Tickets for 13th Floor Chicago are on sale now, beginning at $19.99. The event may be too intense for children under 12. For more information, visit 13thfloorchicago.com and follow 13th Floor Chicago on Instagram at @13thfloorchicago.

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